I Can’t Do This Anymore, I’m Ready To Choose Me
By Stefania Johnson aka Ste’
It should come as no surprise that a deep level of love and respect you can have for others yet years of pain and being tormented can lead to bad behavior if you’ve not healed. It is also no surprise that when you are in the spotlight it is even more daunting, more dramatic, especially when your whole life is in front of the lens of millions of people to play judge and jury. No matter your status, in this life, we are still human with real feelings, real flesh, real blood, and real-life situations many go through. There are no words to describe what pain someone has to go through or have someone you love go through over and over again to reach a point where you can no longer bare the brunt of it. There comes a time when the pain overpowers clear vision of what actions will be held against us. However, honor and respect is still ours to hold steadfast and true, to hold people to the same standards we set for ourselves. We come to a breaking point at times, sometimes the pain is so insurmountable that we feel we have no outlet to manage it appropriately. It is in these times we are challenged the most, it is in these times where we have to create a safe space for ourselves. The safe space seems daunting because it means releasing what makes you feel all the emotions that you can’t control by those who create the pain. It is in these times we have to retreat and reassess what we are doing, who we are, who we want to be, and how you want to live life. We deal with so many traumas in our lives and at times we feel we can overcome them and ignore them, we can just put it out of our mind and heart however, triggers bring them back to the forefront and if we don’t deal with them appropriately, we will use them against those who love us the most, those who are undeserving of the lash out or deflected pain. We must love ourselves more, we must find peace within ourselves and others, we must heal from the traumas of the past, it does not mean we forget, it means we can move through life without having them hold us captive to the pain and feelings that we use for outward pain and anger. Life is so short, our life expectancy is also a direct correlation to how we live within our minds, the hurt and pain we endure every day that leads to fits of despair, depression and tendencies that could lead to far worse complications in our lives. Let us work through the pain, work through the healing moments, look deep within ourselves to understand what is driving our negative thoughts and/or actions. Once you do the internal inventory, you can then take a step forward on acknowledgment of the pain that exists, then working towards solutioning how to work through it so you can be a better and happier person for you, which then in turn benefits everything around you. You will see things get better because your attitude dictates how you see the world and that pain makes you see the doom and gloom in a lot of it. If we change our circumstances for the better, it will soon change our perspective on life and elevate us to a higher level of positivity. The choice is yours, when you are ready. Choose love, choose peace, choose healing and choose YOU!
