“HOW TO GET UNBROKEN”

By Jane Dovidio-Gagliardo

Throughout our lives, we encounter situations and people that break our spirits. We become defensive, cautious, untrusting… and let’s not forget suspicious. Some say it’s human nature, but nothing can be farther from the truth. It’s learned behavior that we become more aware of as we age. And there are studies that confirm this fact. Some studies also show that as the brain ages, it becomes less likely to detect fraud or mistrust. Interesting, but not my personal experience, because as I’ve aged I’ve become less trusting. And my circle of friends has become smaller and smaller. I’ve eliminated the toxic people around me. I’ve sent them off with love and wish them the best. For the most part, I’ve become more of a homebody and feel very comfortable about it. Less drama, less trauma, and zero toxic people to deal with. I guess some would say I’ve become a recluse or unsociable. I say let them judge away. As we go through life, we should strive to become wiser… it makes life far more fulfilling and stable. Unfortunately, for them, not everyone strives to gain wisdom.

So how do we become unbroken? How do we eliminate all the experiences and lessons we’ve had throughout our lives that have contributed to our brokenness? We spend time wondering when and if ever it’s safe to dip our toes back into the water? Well, I can only speak for myself. When we give and give in a relationship and continue to get the same results, that’s a sign of brokenness. Ultimately, we make a choice to either continue in that relationship or become aware that it’s time to walk away. No matter who or what, it’s time to make the break when we are involved in unhealthy relationships with other people. Over time, I’ve learned that even with trying to bring our concerns to a person’s attention, they still try to deflect it back on us. At this point, it’s time to turn and run. These people prefer for you to be and remain broken. But they don’t realize that all they are working with is a false sense of power and hierarchy over others. They prefer for the people in their lives to be and remain broken because broken people are easier to manipulate and control. I repeat… once you’ve moved away from unhealthy relationships the healing process restores you and you become no longer broken.

Removing yourself can be hard, especially if it’s family or people that you consider family. Walking away for your own good is healing and self-protective. And yes, they will only focus on all the terrible things you did and take no responsibility for themselves or the things they have done to you.

With a better understanding of who you surround yourself with and who you feel are good in your circle, you can now begin the process of healing and becoming unbroken. No matter what or who, you should never take on the responsibility of others who wish you harm and bring nothing except darkness and insecurity to your life. Healing my own brokenness was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. When people finally showed me their true colors, all the muck they were trying to feed me became apparent, it was as if I saw a bright light. I say good riddance to them.

We will never be able to convince people, who feel there are no more lessons to be learned in life, that they have much to learn. That’s when their brains stop because they feel a false sense of superiority over everyone. These folks are the broken ones, and they refuse to see it or even entertain the idea. Fortunately for me, I learned this lesson early on, yet I’m still surprised at how many of my friends are still stuck in that cycle of brokenness. So, here’s my final words regarding, “How to Get Unbroken.” Go into any relationship or situation with your eyes wide open. Oh, there will be pitfalls; but if you’re watching and listening carefully, it will save you a headache and heartache sooner than later. Listen to your gut. It will never let you down. I leave you with this quote; “Never Let a Bad Person Change Your Inner Goodness.” (Unknown)