Are You in a Relationship With a Hobosexual Man?
By Deborah M. Cofer (AKA Mama C)
Coined by writer Nakita Nicci in a 2017 article on the topic “a hobosexual is a person who dates you with the sole purpose of procuring a place to live. His/her objective has absolutely nothing to do with establishing and maintaining a genuine romantic soulmate relationship/partnership.” They are serial daters, often bouncing from one live-in relationship to the next, usually with a rolling hockey bag full of dirty laundry in hand (the modern-day version to the bundle on a stick). Beware ladies… th hobosexual mentality is more prevalent than you might think. Often these men have a history of criminal arrests and unsavory intentions that include a number of other nasty low-life and undesirable traits. From a relationship standpoint, they bring little to the table other than a suitcase and a hard-on.
The hobosexual man elevates the concept of “mooching” to a pathological level and is dedicated to taking advantage of your generosity under the guise of being into you! The result is a relationship that is totally toxic and draining both emotionally and financially. And depending upon whether or not he is a narcissist or… and God forbid a sociopath, a hobosexual can be a real danger for any woman who opts to entertain the idea of welcoming this free-loading smiley-faced and fake ass predator into her life. Not sure if you are in a relationship with a hobosexual? Here are six in-your-face red flags you need to look for and heed:
- The relationship moves at lightening speed: Anyone who is serious about being with you, long-term, won’t feel the need to rush into the relationship. Once they believe you are “the one for them,” they will take the time to get to know and understand you and allow you the same privilege. They are also not eager to establish another relationship if they have just broken up with their previous partner. They prefer to unload their emotional baggage before connecting to a serious relationship. The hobosexual will bum-rush you into a relationship and do everything he can to make you feel obliged to give in to his wants and desires even faster than he can whip out his penis.
- He moves in with you the same day or soon thereafter: Living together is an important and big step for two people and should never be taken lightly. All the pros and cons of such a move must be discussed and all the issues identified, thoroughly discussed and worked out. If your new partner is willing to move into your personal space without looking at all of the factors associated with such a move, this is a flashing neon red light you don’t want to ignore, dismiss or make eXcuses for. FYI: A man who has not established in his own home, with a job that enables him to care for himself lacks good self-esteem, integrity, dignity and a stellar sense of responsibility. Stability is a foreign language and “speaking in tongues” is his specialty. This fast-talking and nonsensical male person is smoother than a baby’s butt when it comes to worming his way into your heart, life and bank account. So be forewarned and be eXtremely careful when it comes to allowing your blind as a bat heart to lead you into the bowels of hell where this life-draining male person with predatory intentions hides out, in wait, for his next unsuspecting and oftentimes desperate for a man victim.
- A hobosexual’s “in-between” lifestyle will leave you living “in-between a rock and a hard place:” The M.O. of a hobosexual man reads like Charles Dickens’ novel “Oliver Twist”… only with a grown ass man-child playing the role of the piss-ass-poor pauper. The average hobosexual man is in between gainful employment so it puts you in between taking care of your own responsibilities and trying to help him take care of his. He is in between homes so your home becomes his next in between option. He is in between relationships so you get to play both savior and therapist to this emotionally unstable grifter who knows how to pull on your heart-strings and masterfully play his wooooo-is-me violin tune while sucking you dry of whatever resources you have. And he is in between sleeping on a friend’s couch or temporarily bunking in the spare room of a family member. Everything about him is seedy, greedy, needy, uncertain and unfortunate… but according to him he’s just a man who is “down on his luck.” Talking about an in-between sad sack saga! Know that if you are in between making masochistic moves and learning how to love yourself better, this dreamscape relationship will land you straight into the darkest cracks and crevices of your psyche where learning to love yourself will become a real battle of the Titans. If you have a man who fits the M.O. of a hobosexual, you had better be willing to accept the fact that he comes complete with a daily dose of emotional misery and one eXcuse after another.
- Your life, as you once knew it, begins to change for the worse the moment he moves in: Hobosexuals are, more often than not, manipulative and controlling… they have to be in order to ensure their needs are taken care of without detection or disruption. The moment they move in it all becomes about them. Your night out with the girls will become less frequent, parental visitations will become less welcomed, your grocery bill will escalate and the clean, peaceful home you once knew will become a thing of the past. You will slowly and eXcruciatingly become consumed by his neediness, compassionless demeanor and inconsiderate ways. In no time at all he will make you feel as though the devil has moved in with you. The “you” will begin to disappear and the “him” will become the Goliath headache that will take much more than a slingshot and one stone to eliminate.
- He not only moves in, he also begins to move in all his worldly possessions: Depending on the amount of his “worldly possessions,” your “home sweet home” could end up looking like a hoarder’s hell, particularly if you allow yourself to fall into a state-of-depression once you realize your wannabee “Mr. Right” comes with more sting than sober resolve to support, enhance or sustain your happiness and well-being. Overtime, even his performance in bed will begin to fade like fog on a sunny day. Be aware… this roving Romeo and his possessions could end up being harder to get rid of than a swarm of bees whose hive has just been abruptly disturbed.
- Your family and friends dislike him intensely: Hear ye, hear ye… the one lesson every woman needs to learn, sooner than later is… the right person brings family and friends closer and creates a supportive and cohesive connection that becomes an enjoyable and rewarding aeXperience for all involved. Never lose sight of the fact that family and friends love you and want to see you happy, protected and well taken care of emotionally and financially. And because they are less emotionally involved with your hobosexual mate, they can clearly see the negative traits you may not be ready or willing to see. Don’t be so quick to side with someone who is new to your life over all those who genuinely love you and have always been there for you. Listen attentively and with an open mind and heart to the comments your friends and family make and be sure to apply a hefty dose of discernment to the process of analyzing their observations. They have your best interest at heart and always will.
The reality is… when it comes to predators of all types, self-love is essential for warding off undesirable creatures and cringy creeps with crack-head mentalities that might be lurking about in your personal space and silently stalking you like a thief in the night. Self-love provides you with the power to clearly see through the masquerading monsters, false and phony people and fake foolishness faster than you or they can blink an eye. Engaging in daily deep introspective thinking and analysis and self-loving activities will strengthen your spiritual powers, block the false intentions of predators and shield you from all manner of dead heads, dead beats and potentially deadly eXperiences that you could, otherwise, have avoid.Final Word of Warning: If you allow a super hobosexual predator to hook and reel you into his web of inequity, you may as well bend over and kiss your own bootylicious buns goodbye cause you are in for one “Hell on Earth” eXperience you will live to regret and never forget! You can say goodbye to your sanity, your money, your freedom, and way of life as you once knew it. And, hopefully, by the time you come to your senses, if ever… you will have some remnants of yourself left to rebuild. FYI: Super hobosexual predators are master head-game players and moochers. If your self-esteem is low and your insecurities high… you are prime prey for this sociopathic demon who cleverly disguises himself as someone who needs to be understood and protected from the world. You have now been officially warned. End-of-story.