Menopause: It’s Getting Hot in Here!
By Doris AC Johnson MA of Psy, ABA
First of all, this is not for tender ears so plug them up. Many call it the “personal summer.” I call it a “private hell!” Like…what is the meaning of this? We already had to suffer through monthlies and the agonizing pain of springing forth life. The contractions and then a 7lb baby ripping your insides open. Did you know that giving birth is the closest thing a woman will feel next to death? That is now questionable.
Anyways…and now the children are adults, and mom gets to enjoy her empty nest and get her life when suddenly the weather changes. And by weather, I mean the change of life. Momma told me about the birds and the bees, but she never prepared me for this. Just as many women around my age, I am perimenopausal. How does it feel? In a nutshell…like a long period with the heat set on hell. Notice I said perimenopausal. That means pre-menopausal. This is the prelude to the rest of a life sentence. So now we have weight gain, memory loss, severe mood swings, and a low tolerance for everything. My need for chocolate has increased by 150 percent. It’s not at all as I thought it would be. I thought I would be fine. I was always excited about ending periods forever. I had no idea that this was a second stage of discomfort but on a different level with a temperature that only Satan can understand. I feel like I want to unzip my skin and get out. It is a heat that burns from the inside out…much different than the heat you might feel from the sun. Aside from all the other symptoms, I am nicer and more forgiving. I refuse to go to hell because I feel like I am already there. Lord, please forgive all of my trespasses. I am not sure that this is Eve’s fault for hanging out in the garden, coercing Adam, and eating apples with her greedy self. Maybe it is because of Pandora opening the box with her nosy self.
Instead of menopause, it should be named menostop…stop right there. I don’t need a comma; I don’t need a pause. I have had enough.