3 THINGS YOU CAN DO ON A DATE WITHOUT SEX
By Doris AC Johnson MA of Psy, ABA
It’s early in the relationship…so early that you haven’t gotten beyond direction messaging and sending text messages on your cell phone. At this point, you are cellmates and playmates. It’s fun and exciting and it’s new. Imaginations are running wild. You are romanticizing about what can be. There are those what if and why not moments. And you want to get it right because you don’t need a 3 peat of what happened the last three times. Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it. By it, I mean sex. It’s early…this is true, but you are not a freak for thinking about it. You are human. Possibilities are exciting! Instinctively, men know whether they want to have sex with a woman the moment he looks at her. Women know they will have sex with a man after a few conversations. Either way, it goes or is said, the first date is the teller of all. You don’t want to move too fast too soon…especially if you want to establish a stable relationship. We are all adults here, right? Have I thought about it? Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe.
If you have no intentions of having sex on the first date, then make sure you are actually going on a date. Big mistake! Stationary dates are taboo. What’s a stationary date? A stationary date is a date that is not a date. A first encounter should never ever ever ever ever under any circumstance happen at his house. I don’t care if he says he can cook. I don’t care if he wants to show you something. Home visits are for nurses, therapists, and social workers. Yup. You get in your car, drive out your gas, burn a little oil, and reach your destination. And now you are delivering yourself like Uber Eats, Door Dash, Grub Hub, Shipt! And you are sitting stationary in his territory. You have just stepped into the lion’s den. Conversation turns to kisses and kisses turn into tomorrow morning. Stationary dates are a prelude to sex. Bottomline! Say hello with a hug and good night with a kiss!
So here we go with 3 things you can do on a date without sex!
- A his and her mani and pedi date? (send text messages about everything and everyone around) There is always something entertaining to be noted in a nail salon. A sense of humor is always important. Here is the test!
- The shooting range! (take turns at target practice and flirt around about who gets closest to the target) Competition can be healthy and again will evoke a sense of humor. Here is the test!
- The nature walk…perhaps along side a stream of water or a river. This is where you have deep and intimate conversations (or talk about people in passing) Does he appeal to your intellect? Here is the test!
Have I gotten caught up in the sound of a promising stationary date? Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe. Just mind your business.