RED THING AROUND THE BOLOGNA
Doris AC Johnson, MA of Psy, ABA
When all the air has come from the balloon…when there is no wind left in your sail…when that flatline is
going across the screen, it is perfectly fine to let it die. What I mean to say is that all things fall apart and
if a friendship is not growing… it’s dying. Sadly, no one taught me how to graciously wave goodbye and
separate myself from things that seemed to cling to me. And because they clung to me, I reciprocated
by doing the same. I am guilty of holding on to friendships simply because I was socially drugged into
thinking that history is the thumbtack in our union. I have been tied to people just because we grew up
together…just because we have history. Whether it’s good or bad, I was holding on to unfavorable
situations. Like many of you, I have been deceived, rejected, manipulated, stolen from, discredited,
acknowledged only when it was convenient for them, and used as a prop… and I forgave them only for
history to repeat itself. Those very same people are the ones that send you that all too famous turn of
the century happy new year text message when we have not spoken since God said, “Let there be
light.” Those are the same people that send you those isolated text messages asking how you are doing.
And some of us are foolish enough to break down what we been doing instead. And that person gets
exactly what they want…your personal information. And then you become the topic of an invisible
conversation that you know still exists. That birthday text is a thorn in my side if we have not spoken
since my last birthday. And then there is Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
It is ok to say “NO!” It is okay to pull away or back off OR grow on. I personally am not looking for any
seasonal workers. In more blunt terms…it is ok to fire any friendship that is not working for you. That is
what a real CEO would do.
The point is this…You are well within your rights to censor your friend’s list. REVISE your friend’s list. EDIT!
EDIT! EDIT! So that you can benefit from the relationship. I refuse because I am too old to be made to
feel like the red thing around the bologna.