“OPTIMISM GETS STRONGER WHEN IT’S USED”
Jane Dovidio-Gagliardo
“Optimism” is a tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the most hopeful aspects of a situation. We, as humans, have a tendency to lean towards negative rather than positive thinking. I have found, in my own life, that it takes positive energy to lean toward optimism rather than negativity. It seems that most human brains are wired to lean, as scientists calls it, toward “Negativity Bias.” There have been studies, opinions, and debates on this topic for years. And now as mental health and overall wellbeing become a growing issue with the Pandemic and vaccines, a more optimistic approach needs to be thrown into the ring for sure. But how do we overcome “Negativity Bias” and replace it with optimism? Well, if we take the advice of scientists, they recommend three personal attributes that we must utilize and fully embrace to become more Optimistic. They are Strength, Values, and Self-Compassion.
I won’t get into each of those in detail; but if you’re interested in learning more, just go to Google and look it up. Google is a wonderful resource for anything you want more information on. But for the sake of clarity, I’ll touch briefly on each one. Strength: I used to hate it when people said to me, “You’re so strong.” Now I embrace it. Because, yes, I am strong. And so are you. How we get through some of the worst experiences in our own lives strengthens our ability to be stronger in emotion, body, and spirit when needed. 2) Values: We all have them. Most of us were taught values when we were young. But some of us learned about values only when we minimize the value of ourselves or the people around us. For the sake of reinforcement, re-read that again. It’s true, some of us grew up in broken or dysfunctional households where value was not taught or experienced. I have discovered that as we grow, we learn that a valued view of people, places, and things feels so much better when utilized. Understanding the value of everything enriches our lives. Negativity depletes our joy and replaces it with struggle and misery. Hence, the ability to see value produces a much happier and fulfilled life.
When value is not recognized, we stumble trying to understand the point of life, its’ experiences, and how a value system works to our benefit. Once we gain the understanding of the importance of developing and living by a value system that makes sense, we are then able to pass what we have learned on to our children, grandchildren and whoever else will listen. 3) Self-Compassion. WOW, self-compassion is one of the hardest things for me. I can be the most compassionate person for others… I mean over the top, but self-compassion for myself has never been easy. Why? Maybe because it would present as though I’m selfish or vain. And God forbid I look like I’m too confident. But I have also learned, during my lifetime, that without self-compassion I am incapable of being compassionate with others. It is the self-compassion I feel that helps me to understand and care for people on a whole different level. Self-compassion enables me to feel the pain and sorrow of others, and be able to help them in whatever way I can.
What values do you live by? Are they supporting the life you want? How do Strength, Values, and Self-Compassion work in your life? Think about it. I believe if you take time to read this blog and do some self-reflecting you will gain a much better outlook on these three valuable personal attributes work to your benefit. I encourage you to practice optimistic thoughts. I think you will see how positive experiences and relationships begin to happen more frequently as you strive to live the best life possible. I leave you with this quote; “If You Love Yourself First, Everything Else Will Fall Into Line” (Unknown). Stay Safe. Stay Strong. Stay Fearless.
