AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
Doris AC Johnson MA of Psy, ABA
Last month, we focused on dating a narcissist or one who exhibits narcissistic behavior or a minimal level
and deadening the aftereffects. This month, I am focusing on infidelity, cheating, adultery,
creeping…whatever you want to call it. First, so there is no confusion, let me give you my definition of
cheating. If you are operating on the outside of the parameter of the guidelines on which the foundation
of your union is based, you are asking for trouble. If you are operating on the outside of the parameter of
the guidelines on which the foundation of your union is based…it’s about to be a problem. If you are
operating on the outside of the parameter of the guidelines on which the foundation of your union is
based, you are cheating. HAND CAUGHT ON THE COOKIE JAR.
I can’t pinpoint what the problem will be, or the repercussion to be imposed…it’s individually based, but
I know what cheating feels like. I am not holier than though and clean as the driven white snow. I know
how it’s done. Cheating happens. Let’s be real about it. The point is this…since when did cheating
become part of the norm? Am I missing something?
Maybe I lived in a dollhouse as a child. Cheating was taboo. If the neighbor caught you at the bar with a
bimbo hanging off your shoulder…you came home to your bags parked outside the front door. If you had
smudged lipstick on your collar, she’s takings the kids, the house, and of whatever else you got. If Alice
called your house on a woman-to-woman tip, Barbera has already moved back to her momma’s house. I
am not inferring that women didn’t fight for their men back in the day. They did, but it’s on a different
level today. Maybe because of the various platforms accessible to us. Facebook brawls, social media rants,
mysterious dms, and relationship pictures posted to prove who belongs to who AND that’s in my social
circle. Celebrity status operates from an entirely different school of thought. We have TELL ALL books,
DIS songs, EXCLUSIVE interviews. And some are paid HUSH money. The cheatee supports the
cheater’s behavior after it has been exposed and they go on with their relationship. That might work for
them. Am I missing something?
I know of a couple who had a small family together. The boyfriend cheated but was doubling back with
the first girlfriend and she got pregnant, while he married the mistress. The mistress//new wife got
pregnant shortly afterwards. After she gave birth, the original girlfriend gave birth to their fourth child.
Shortly afterwards, the mistress/wife gave birth to their second child. And all of them knew about the
other. These women took turns playing monkey in the middle and no pun intended, but just as the game
goes, the one that caught the ball got to have the man. Maybe I am missing something!