By Doris AC Johnson, MA of Psy, ABA

You can not love a man into loving you. If he has already started pulling away and becoming undecided about the status of your relationship, the path you are continuously taking to vie for his affection will lead to a dead end. You go in initially with both feet on the gas and driving like there is no tomorrow until the low fuel light comes on and your only option is to go and fuel up. If that man is not giving you the fuel it will take to keep the relationship moving to the next level, get out of the car! We have to stop hearing only a fraction of what is being said and seeing only part of what we are shown. Rosy colored glasses went out of style when you were in your twenties.  Please know that I am not judging you because I have been the woman trying to love nothing into something, and my ceiling became my floor. Yes, I have given too much too soon all based on a promise, a dream, and a hopeful that never came into fruition. When a woman works harder for a relationship than her mate or prospective mate, she decreases her value and decreases the chance to receive what she wants and requires. I have NOT always set boundaries as much as I have been difficult to conquer these days. What I know for sure is that boundaries work so much better when you set them. Do NOT be afraid to say what you mean and mean what you say. Be someone that you want to love! And not a side show clown looking to join a circus. Know your worth and be proud of who you are even if you are work in progress. We all are a work in progress so do NOT build on how you feel that you may have come up short. Look at what is in front of you and address it even if the one you are confronting is facing you in the mirror. 

I know for a fact that a man that wants you will not let you get away. He is going to want to talk to you. He is going to want to hear you. He is going to want to be in your presence whenever possible. Do NOT mistake misery for magic! Do NOT mistake poison for passion! 

Contrary to popular beliefs…being single is not a crime or many of would guilty. This no life sentence, it simply is not your turn (or mine), Do not worry, you will not always be a bride’s mate and never a bride. Enjoy your time as you water all the seeds of hope you have planted. For nowwww…the ringing in your ears should not be mistaken for wedding bells, nor should it be disregarded.

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