The Anatomy of the Relationship Cycle
By Doris AC Johnson, MA Psy
We have friendships, courtships, relationships, partnerships, creationships, dealerships, situationships, separationships. This is often the spectrum of the way people are relating. And it is self-explanatory. The most important step to forming a union is first to become familiar with one another. In doing this, you begin to learn the simple things about a person. You come to know their favorite color, the type of music they like, their hobbies and interest, and how they function from day to day. Often the friendship is not planned and nor is the transition to forming a relationship. The courtship is the link extending from the friendship to the relationship. In the courtship, you are now being pursued and handled carefully. This is the point where you lay down the floor plan or blueprint to narrate the type of relationship you are seeking. It is right here where you are making sure that the foundation is free of any cracks. From here, the friendship is now transforming into the blossoming of a relationship. Finally there! You officially look like Bae. You are in a great space. The birds chirp rhythmically, the sun shines brighter, beautiful rainbows, lollipops, unicorns, and gum drops surround the dream and wonderment of this aura and ambiance. This feeling is called love. How you keep it…that is something different. How you lose it…borders on the things I touched on before. The friendship is great! It is vital in achieving anything with anyone. The courtship does not have to be, but it must if you are driving towards the avenue of a relationship. You have reached your goal. You have become and us. And the us is now them…our little creationships. The pitter-patter of small feet changes everything. And it is a beautiful thing until the partnership begins to teeter down and you find that the happy and cheerful GOOD MORNINGS are now mumbled words almost inaudible. And now you find that the very thing that consolidated your love into children has altered life. Champagne kisses are now rehearsed to maintain a balance for the sake of the little ones, and everything is now a dealership. Toleration has stolen potential memories. No more date nights, or movie night, or accompanying one another to family functions. The replacement is late nights at the office. Unreturned texts. Unanswered phone calls. Delayed reactions. Empty conversations. Now you are in a situationship. You maintain that its complicated like a Facebook relationship status. But there are not 450 likes on your status or admiring eyes on each picture you have shared. All the thrills are now gone. Maintenance is the basis of your union. The tension is too tight. The air is too thick to breathe. And you cannot ingest another emotionally forced entry into making love…well, it has now been reduced to meaningless sex. As a couple, you are functioning with a battery in your backs. Someone must cut off the air supply, stop offering chest compressions to something that has gone into cardiac arrest. …remove the relationship from life support. Which brings me to the seperationship. You go your way. I will go mine. Do you Pooh boo. You get the children during the week, and I will take them on the weekend. I get the children for the summer. And you get them for the school year. Do not just show up to my house. Text first. Let me offer you this NourishMeant for Supper. Hear with your eyes. I listed a sizable amount of words that held ship as the suffix. There is ONE other ship pertinent to the anatomy of relationships. This one can sink or sail. Pick a side.