By Ronald Yates
I can remember Minister Louis Farrakhan giving a speech, he said ” The Secret of
God is Inside of the Black Woman.” At the time, I wasn’t quite sure what he meant
by that. To coin a modern phrase, sometimes we have to allow things to mentally
“marinate.”  Now that I’ve had a number of years to evaluate his speech, I think I
know what he was saying.  For us, Black men, who have lost our way, the question
has always been “How do we find our way back?” Now let me make it clear that I
am not trying to put more work on our sisters. God knows you have all already
done your share of work to keep us alive and thriving, but for this next exercise, it
won’t require much work at all. What you will have to employ is a tactic that was
used with some success during the struggle for Civil Rights; it’s called “Passive
Resistance.” How it works: Collectively, sisters will passively resist the advances
of brothers… well not all brothers, just those in most need of guidance. For
younger women, who are considering dating, if the young man you have your eye
on is, substandard and, therefore, not living up to his true potential, the Passive
Resistance exercise must be implemented.
Many Black men feel as if we are under constant pressure from things like
systemic racism, economic deprivation, and record-high unemployment rates. For
that reason, some of us lack hope for a better life, belief in ourselves, and have lost
the faith needed to overcome and rise above the inhumane abnormal “norms” we
are constantly fighting against. As a result, it has become easier to just give up. If
the young man is one of those who has given up, I’m not suggesting that sisters
give up on him as well. What I am saying is that we need to help this brother by
encouraging him to reach his full potential despite the challenges and hardships.
So how do you do that? Here’s where “Passive Resistance” comes into play. First,
we let the brother know that he has immense potential. Second, attempt to get
some idea of who he believes he is and how and where he sees himself in five
years.
I know there are some of you who have probably thought of Passive Resistence
before, but the difference, this time, is the resistance part. The refusal to settle for
a man who is bringing little to nothing to the relationship table… your life and the
life of the family you hope to have one day. Sisters I urge you to stop settling for a
man’s substandard beliefs and behaviors. Do not allow him to remain that way and
think he has a chance of “getting with you” or he will have absolutely no chance of
changing for the better. If he is substandard for you, he will be below expectation

for the next sister and every sister that comes after her. For this reason, the
correction must be made now to stop the spread of the substandard pandemic that
has been destroying Black families and communities for over 400 years. This
substandard mindset can be likened to cancer. But if caught and treated early the
long-term prognosis is so much better.
Somewhere along the way Black Men have forgotten who we are, the internal
power we possess and the infinite potential we possess the power to manifest for
the greater good of us all. Unfortunately, we have abdicated all of the family and
financial responsibilities to you sisters. When the pressure became too great, we
ran. At first there was a great deal of shame attached to abandoning our
families, but overtime it became acceptable unnatural norm. No-one talked about
it, at least not openly.  So gradually over the years, the feelings of shame and
inadequacy went away. Today it is commonplace to see women being solely
responsible for the family. In fact, seeing a nuclear family within Black
communities is somewhat of a rarity.  That is a cycle that must be broken, or our
families and communities will remain barely sustainable. Sorry sisters you have a
little more work to do. But again, it’s not hard work.  If an unsustainable man
approaches you and his pants are falling off his behind, the simple answer is to
quickly reject him as a suitable life-partner. But that, alone, won’t correct the
behavior. The idea is to draw him in. To make little suggestions like firstly, pull
up your pants, put on a belt, hold your head up high and it’s time for you to
become the King you were born to be.  If he responds favorably to these words of
validation, then you can gradually begin to delve deeper into his psyche by asking
questions like how far did you go in school and don’t you know how smart you
really are? When you talk, you sound like a college graduate. Your intelligence is
far greater than you give yourself credit for. Then feed his potential by reinforcing
the fact that he possesses an innate greatness and owe it to himself, first and
foremost, to live up to it.
While he may be cute or extremely handsome and even smooth-talking, sisters,
keep in mind Passive Resistance, may… in the long run, allow you to mold him
into the man of your dreams.  The next steps are more about him than you. Once
you open the door it’s up to him to walk through it. If your suggestions are taking
hold perhaps his true nature, that has been rendered dormant, may begin to guide
him in a positive direction.  Sisters this is information, that must be shared with all
sisters and collectively adopted by them. The more brothers are rejected, the
greater the chances of changing the mindset of Black men for generations and
reverse the cycle of single parent households. I know sisters many of you are tired
and have grown frustrated with past promises, this is why the Passive Resistance

exercise is so important. We cannot allow another generation of young women to
endure what some of you and some of your mothers, sisters, and friends have and
continue to deal with.
The truth is you sisters have always had the power if you think about it Julius
Caesar, Mark Antony, both of whom had gone to Egypt to remove Cleopatra from
the throne, fell in love with her. Caesar was so smitten he suggested taking
Cleopatra to Rome and making her Queen. Alright, so that didn’t work out so well
for Caesar. But I think you get my point. When a woman knows who she is, and
stands in her divine power no substandard bother need approach her. The problem
has been that just as we men have abdicated our responsibilities you sisters have
forgotten who you are as well. After struggling and suffering through 400 years of
slavery, Jim Crow, segregation and miseducation we have all been as Malcolm X
said “bamboozled.” For Black men the aim of applying the pressure and limiting
their belief in themselves was designed to drive us out of the community, rendering
us incapable of defending ourselves. Our women, children and families, in general
are vulnerable, so the Passive Resistance program is vital and essential for
transforming the current dysfunction into a level of high functioning that benefits
us all. Sisters talk to other sisters, make pacts to adhere to the program.  I know
this won’t be easy and the temptation to just move on without us is there; but hold
out sisters. In the long-run it will pay off for us all.

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