What Is Worse A Broke Man or a Man That is Broken?
By Ronald Yates
I have often heard women say that “There is nothing worse than a Broke A$$ man.” But ladies I beg to differ, there are things much worse and much more destructive. There is something in the nature of women that I don’t believe men will ever understand; something I call the “Salvation Principle.” The principle works as follows: While many women will reject a “broke man, they will oddly accept a “broken man.” The principle leads them to believe that they can fix the “broken man”… even when it should be clear that this particular brother requires more help than they can provide; but despite this, some sisters are true die-hards and are determined to not give up on her broken love interest.
The principal causes them to go above and beyond to show their man they are different from the previous sisters that may have hurt him and made him feel guarded and insecure. “With me baby, you are safe and secure, you can feel free to open up and talk about those things that you have never discussed with anyone.” Well, he might be safe and secure, but is she? We all know or should know that hurt people hurt other people, and many wounded people are in denial about needing help. Why would someone reject an offer of help from someone who sincerely loves them and is concerned about their well-being? The answer is very few people want to reopen old wounds. Most just don’t want to experience the pain again. Sometimes after surgery, your doctor may suggest physical therapy. For those who have had the displeasure of having a therapist dig into the incision site of their pain know what I am talking about. Yes, while it is painful and sometimes excruciating, in the end, the extraction of the pain and suffering will bring about a positive outcome.
For men who are not allowed by our society to show weakness or vulnerability, we learn to hide the pain by burying it deep with us. But the reality is it is still there and, at times, will rise to the surface. It is at those times when these issues we think are long dead rise to the surface and the destructive tendencies become visible. For many Black and Brown men, we tend to avoid the doctors’ office. For some reason we are opposed to seeking help for those dark places in our hearts and minds… instead we opt to self-medicate. The reality is the methods we choose only amplify and reinforce our problems. Then, who bears the brunt of addiction or violent tendencies? It is usually the sister, the one who vowed to stick by our side no matter what.